Sometimes we say things to edify one audience that inadvertently hurt another.
Such was the case for me last week. Noticing an unusual number of visitors to my blog coming from an unfamiliar site, I decided to track down the source. My heart sank when I saw its title: When They Call Your God a Demon.
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
I groaned as I read the rest of the post, feeling the pain I had caused this American Hindu. This is not the first time I have felt myself caught between two worlds, able to see from opposing perspectives but unable to reconcile them without tossing integrity out the window. Hindus graciously accept all sincerely pursued paths as leading to the same God; Jesus claims to be the exclusive way to God. While I clearly fall on one side of this gap, I want to remain sensitive and relevant to those who live on the other.
The following is my attempt to love my neighbor without compromising my love for God. It also explains why I have taken down my earlier post about Toppling Giants.
I am the author of that article. To remain silent would be to continue the breakdown in dialogue between us, so I have been praying for wisdom and grace in my reply.
For starters, I commend you for your fair treatment of my article. You neither attacked me nor exaggerated my position.
I confess that, at times, I too have struggled to understand and accept the aspects of my God that are violent or exclusive. When I read His Scriptures and talk about Him with others, these are not what I focus on. I marvel at His love and His beauty, His slowness to anger and His quickness to forgive. I wonder at the vastness of His creation and the intimacy of His relationship with so many different kinds of people, including me.
“Therefore since we are God’s offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone–an image made by man’s design and skill. In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent.
And yet, if I am honest with the claims He makes about Himself, I cannot deny that an integral part of His character is His claim as the Most High God and His call for the loving allegiance of all He has created. I feel the offensiveness of this, especially when I consider it through the eyes of the many Hindus I have the privilege of calling my dear friends. I want to find a way around these claims, to redefine the aspects of my God that conflict with their core values and faith so that we can carry on in relationship similar to the one you described in your article.
But to do so would be to invent my own god. We can choose which god we worship, but if we start picking and choosing which of His characteristics we accept and which ones we reject, we are really just creating our own illusion.
So I am stuck between conflicting loyalties. And at the end of the day, I choose God. I believe that He is the source of my love for others, and that He loves them more than I do. But I still don’t understand how that all plays out, and I would be lying if I said that I am perfectly comfortable with it.
The truth is, I cannot be true to my God and change what I believe about yours.
Having said all that, I hurt with you over the disrespect you felt over my article. How can I say derogatory things about your god without insulting you? This is the dilemma I have felt for years. The truth is, I cannot be true to my God and change what I believe about yours. But the last thing I want to do is insult or attack you. I may think and pray along the lines of what I wrote, but I feel it was inappropriate (and perhaps even unloving) of me to write it in a public forum. Please forgive me. I have removed the article from my site, and will try to be more careful in what I publish in the future.
There is this ongoing tension between airing opinions that are true to ourselves but offensive to others. I’m not sure where the line should fall on that. To be frank, I usually avoid sites like yours because your opinions are associated with experiences that have been extremely painful and damaging for me. I know you don’t mean it that way, and I am not implying that you shouldn’t write freely about what you believe. But there truly are two sides of this coin. I imagine you are familiar with the tantric side of Kali. We used to live down the street from a tantric ashram, with skulls stacked up at the entrance and fearful rumors among the poor in the neighboring Hindu community that each month one of their children went missing as a human sacrifice. I know this is the not the aspect of Hinduism that you promote, but it is there within the system. For me, even a benevolent picture of the mother goddess brings back dark memories.
So I resort to affirming my love for Him first, but also to affirming my love for you.
So what is the way forward in demonstrating love and respect towards each other even as we experience major hangups over each other’s gods? I don’t think either of us would suggest that we give up our own gods. I am aware of my own competitive, selfish tendencies enough to know that the love and compassion I feel for you is a product of the Spirit of God flowing through me. Apart from Him, I would be a pretty lousy friend. So I resort to affirming my love for Him first, but also to affirming my love for you. I hope you can accept me on those terms.